For me, right now: October 2017

I can’t quite believe I have been blogging for over over two years. I still feel like a beginner, finding my voice. I recently read a post by Cait Flanders on slow blogging. It prompted me to reflect on why I blog. For me, it’s about connecting with others. To increase connection, I want to put more of me into my blog. To date, I’ve shared a lot of advice about decluttering and slow living based on my experience, but not a lot about myself.

So here goes, I’ve put on my big girl undies and I’m going to get a bit more personal. I’m starting with a regularly monthly feature on what’s happening in life for me, right now. Let me know what you think.

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Three books for when you’re stuck in a rut

Three books for when you're stuck in a rut: Destination Simple, How To Live A Good Life, Finding Your Element

It is spring, the days are getting longer, I’m enjoying my evening beach walks and I feel great.

Noticing how great I’m feeling now, I realised, I hadn’t been feeling so great through winter. Nothing was bothering me in particular, I just felt a bit flat and unmotivated. I was stuck in a rut.

Fortunately, a change of season was all I needed to switch gears and feel excited about life again. Lucky me. Lifting yourself out of a rut isn’t always so easy. If you’re searching for help to get going again, I’d like to point you toward three books I found really helpful when I felt blah and lost.

Each book guides you through a series of actions to reorientate your life. What I really appreciate about all three books is the emphasis on experimentation. Each offers some general principles along with a range of bite-size exercises designed to get you trying new things or thinking in a different way, rather than a blueprint to be followed.

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How to sell your stuff without losing your mind

How to sell your stuff without losing your mind - decluttering, minimalism, konmari

Whether you just want to free up some space in your home or you’ve decided to adopt a minimalist lifestyle, you have to get rid of some stuff.

Selling your excess stuff has probably come to mind. Maybe you already tried selling a few things and it hasn’t gone quite as you’d hoped. Dreams of stuffing your pockets with wads of cash as your stuff disappears out the door can quickly turn into a nightmare. However, with some smart thinking, you can take the hassle out of the process and declutter your home, without losing your mind.

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Why I don’t sell my stuff … and why I don’t think you should either

Why I don't sell my stuff, and why I don't think you should either

I have decluttered thousands of items from my home over the last few years. I can count the number of items I sold on one hand. Selling things is not my go-to method of getting rid of my excess stuff and I don’t think it should be yours either.

When I started decluttering, the first thing to go was my Nintendo Wii. It had been sitting there, still in its box from when we’d moved into the house ­-two years ago! I loved that Wii; I managed to complete an entire 12-week fitness programme on that thing (something I’d never done before and haven’t managed since). But my life had changed, so it just sat there.

Just because I didn’t use it, didn’t mean I didn’t think about it. I’d catch a glimpse of the box under the coffee table and feel guilty – what a waste.

I must set that up.”

Ick, I can’t be bothered with setting that up. All those cords.”

Hmm, I should sell it. I’m never going to use it now, I can get some of the money back.”

Right, I’m going to sell it. Better set it up to check it’s all there.”

Well, if I can set it up, I might as well keep it. If it’s set up, I’ll use it.”

Ick, I can’t be bothering setting that up now, all those cords. I’ll do it later.”

Sound familiar?

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3 Things To Do When You Feel Overwhelmed By Life

3 things to do when you feel overwhelmed by life

“Help please. I feel like I’m a total failure. With working and trying to keep on top of things at home, I feel like I am dropping the ball all the time. Does anyone else feel this way? What is wrong with me? How do you mummies manage it all?”

So read the plea from a fellow mum. I could relate. Three years ago, I could’ve been the one posting this in the local mum’s Facebook group. I was giving it my all to be a good employee and a great mum, but I didn’t feel like I had a decent grip on either role. Life was a blur of one narrowly adverted minor disaster after another. I was a crap friend and a bitch of a wife. As for anything else, there wasn’t room, that would all have to wait for “someday”.

I was totally overwhelmed by my life. I had never worked so hard to fail so miserably. And not just miserably, spectacularly. Sobbing-loudly-at-my-desk-a-colleague-bundling-me-into-her-car-to-take-me-home type spectacularly.

What advice could I offer this fellow mum to helpprevent her becoming a burnt-out mess? Over the last three years, I’ve learnt a lot about how to live a full and meaningful life and push your limits without pushing yourself over the edge.

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How to declutter toys without the guilt

How to declutter toys without the guilt

Ahhh, the joy of a child playing quietly in his room. I pop my head around the door, only to see tufts of white stuffing poking out from under my son’s bed. Hmmm, it turns out that ‘playing quietly’ was actually disembowelling the large, handmade red velvet bear his aunt had given him.

With my less-than-impressed-mum face, I admonished him for 1) using scissors on anything other than paper, 2) not caring for his toys. On the inside, however, I was beaming. The sweet relief of getting rid of an over-sized, slightly creepy toy your child loves, without having to be the bad guy!

The thing in my home I feel the most torn about decluttering is toys. Fewer toys to trip over and tidy, that’d be fantastic. Plus, too many toys isn’t great for kids, I get that. But, the toys aren’t mine, nearly all of them were gifts, and they all seem so beloved.

Mum guilt about too many toys vs mum guilt over taking toys away – wow, which great option should I choose!

Decluttering toys, a great idea, but in practice, just another emotional minefield for the modern parent. It doesn’t have to be that way. You can make a lot of progress on the toy situation quickly and easily, without having to play the bad guy. Here’s how.

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My top tips for overcoming decluttering inertia

There I was, staring at my 2017 in 2017 decluttering chart, pondering how my progress had stagnated. In January, I decluttered 200 items. Six months later, I’ve only managed a further 500ish items. Telling myself, “I must try harder”, I racked my brain for the ultimate idea to inspire me and reignite my motivation.

Then something struck me. Less than two weeks into June, I’d already decluttered as much as in all of May. Without even trying, I’d already solved my own problem! How?

Something is better than nothing

This stealthy surge in momentum coincided with reading Mark Manson’s The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck[i]. Manson discusses what he calls the “Do Something Principle”. Rather than waiting for the inspiration to do something, just start. The principle is based on the premise that action (doing something, anything) is both the cause of motivation, as well as the effect of motivation.

Manson's Do Something Principle - the key to overcoming inertia when decluttering

This resonated with me. Manson gave a name to a principle that I apply in different facets of my life to overcome procrastination. Despite having pretty much zero motivation for decluttering, Manson spurred me to re-engage with some of my tried and true strategies for overcoming inertia. I picked up the pace, got back on track with my goal, and it was painless.

In turn, that inspired me to share my top tips for overcoming your own inertia.

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